Whenever I feel weird or something I try to just lay down and sleep on it or write about it. Often times I don't remember my dreams. When I do, it's just tiny little fragments that conclusively don't really mean much. Other times (when I used to be a bit more spiritual) I would close my eyes and pray...but that's to be saved for another post. (Yes, I'm still Catholic and yes, I still practice my Faith, but spirituality is a post on it's own for another time). It's weird because I used to write on my Tumblr almost everyday and do stupid things like have code names to ensure people who followed me don't read it. Now, I blog on something no one reads and I don't even have my real full name on it so no one can Google it, either. Hopefully.
But anyways, since I've started blogging, re-reading blogs, etc. again, I've had this re-occurring, slightly fleeting feeling like my head and my heart are up in the clouds. It's of course difficult to deal with because not only am I a student, I'm also a full-time worker now for the next 6 months. Even in that avenue though, sometimes I think to myself if I'm committing myself enough fully to the things I want to do. I currently co-op at a start up company within the food and beverage field as a sales manager (lol manager already), but if I want to own a restaurant or really work in that industry, am I doing the right thing? Sometimes I think to myself, "What would have happened should I not have gotten this co-op?" Because, if I hadn't gotten the co-op that I currently have, I would have tried to make my own co-op at Joanne Chang's Flour Bakery and Cafe working in the pastry kitchen. It was almost perfect too--exactly 6 months in total...but it unfortunately would've started in February and would only have been 24 hours/week.
I don't know too much about Joanne Chang cause I don't read her books (or read in general), but I do know that she left a job most older people would say was pretty good to enter the restaurant/bakery industry. I think it's cool because she symbolizes someone who followed her dreams to do what she wanted to do. For the longest time I told myself, "You need to do ______ first before you own a restaurant" because it's hard to just start out doing that. It's honestly very true. But when I've worked with food trucks like Bon Me started by Alison Fong, worked within the AAC to hear about Joanne Chang, and have two bosses who are in my grade at Northeastern and started a continually successful business I can't help but think, "Do I really need to do that?" All my past co-ops were upsetting because I had been trying to avoid something that I've always loved--food (LOL). This year I told myself "It's time to work in the industry you want to be in. Or at least get close." Now, I'm close and while I know it's not the perfect fit as to where I want to be, it's a huge start.
Eh, to be honest I think maybe one day I'll take that internship. I don't know how, but it'll be a cool experience. I wish I heard about it earlier and that the timing was better...but I'm happy where I am now, for now. I just need to get to freaking sleep cause it's 2:10AM, I'm yawning and tears are rolling down my face, and I need to sell some DAMN product. Let's goooooooo.
^^ That started out as a post on some dreams I had, traversed into some almost regrets, and then ended with some slightly inspirational piece on how I'm starting to do things I want to do. Honestly, what am I doing with my life lol...just pay me to freaking blog about myself while I eat food.
I wish I could get paid to blog and eat food too T__T
ReplyDeleteWe're all trying to figure it out as well. Follow your dreams James!
Hahah thank you Sonya! But you could actually blog and get free stuff if you write about it! We send like a million bars each week to "food bloggers" hahaha
Delete